Pilch's Purple Blog

Pilchy's Blog is Closing Down

2007-09-24T23:26:00.000+01:00

Pilchy's blog is closing down. Hardly anyone reads it or leaves a comment anymore. Pilchy will find something better to do with his time.

My Favourite Song

2007-09-23T23:28:00.000+01:00

They sang my favourite song at church tonight - "Shout to the Lord". It's been my favourite for quite a long time - I remember teaching it to the singing group that I used to lead at the Methodist Church several years ago. I remember requesting it for my induction as worship leader at the church. I remember listening to it in my car many times.

They don't usually sing it at my church but I knew that tonight they would. Darlene Zschech was leading worship - visiting England all the way from Hillsong Australia - and "Shout to the Lord" is her most well known song. The worship was awesome and there were some other great songs too. This week has been my church's main conference and as I have missed it all (have to work!) I am going to be spending the week catching up with it all on CD.

I caught up with Jennifer tonight - I met her in Christian Chat about 7 years ago but we haven't spoken for a while so it was great to catch up with her and what she has been up to. She is training to be a teacher so maybe I can offer her some help and advice...although I know she will make a fantastic teacher as she works so hard.

Well it's nearly Monday again. I am going to get lots more of my book written next week as I am still a bit behind with it. Anyone who would like to read a little bit, just let me know.

Pilchy Update

2007-09-20T19:56:00.000+01:00

Here is a special blog just for you Princess x And don't forget when you have read it you have to go and do yours and I will be checking to see if you have!

It's been a busy few weeks back at work. The kids are getting settled in now and the summer holidays seem a long time ago. I have a new girl starting in my class who speaks no English - only Polish, so I will have to learn a little bit so I can communicate with her. Just in case anyone is interested, here is a beginner's guide to Polish...it's all phonetically written as I can't begin to understand how to read the words spelt in proper Polish!

Hello...chesht
How are you? Yak shoe mash
Yes...tak No...nyeh
Good morning...Jane dobry
Good afternoon...Jane dobry
Goodbye... doy venya
Thankyou... Jen cooyah

Don't ask me who Jane Dobry and Jen Cooyah are though because I have no idea!

It has also been a sad week at work too as a staff member died last week. The funeral is next Tuesday.

On Sunday someone at church came up to me and said "I didnt' realise you were writing a book" and they seemed really excited about it. I had meant to do quite a bit of it in the summer holidays but that never really happened and I thought that no-one was that interested anyway. But I started this week to work on it a little bit each night because I really want to get it finished. I have planned out 10 chapters and I am just starting work on number 5. I have put in some of the things that have been in my blog over the past few months so anyone who has enjoyed reading my blog will like the book. I still need to think of a title but I have an idea that I am thinking about. I hope that none of the readers of my blog will mind being in it ;-)

Psalm 23

2007-09-03T20:55:00.000+01:00

I really must do my blog more often! Since the last blog I have had the pleasure of meeting my friend Lilmiss - was really cool to finally get to meet her in person. We had a really nice meal in what we later found out to be quite a rough pub. Lilmiss bought me a macaroon which was yummy. I actually ate it in the car on the way home. Just one little message for you though Lilmiss... give peas a chance lol.

Tonight I have been reading and thinking about Psalm 23. It's so familiar and it's easy to miss things in the familiar. There are lots of hymn versions of it that I have often played in church, especially at funeral services. But today I saw something new in it.

First it's a list of things that God is or does. He is a shepherd, looking after us - his sheep. He cares for us and doesn't want us to be in need of anything, whatever that need might be. He makes us... not asks us or persuades us...but makes us lie down in green pastures. Thinking about what green pastures might mean I came up with a place where we are safe and secure. He leads us beside the quiet waters...isn't that where everyone wants to be?

Then it says "...He resores my soul" - and those four words really spoke to me. As I drove home from work I was listening to Joyce Meyer and she was talking about being bold and asking God for things and not being afraid of asking for too much. I asked God to heal my mind and emotions because I have been facing some emotional battles recently. I know that there are things in my past that cause them and I know that I have insecurities that I don't want to have any more. So I asked God to sort them out. Then tonight I find these four words..."He restores my soul." Soul has been described to me as mind, will and emotions. So if God restores my soul then He restores my mind, my will and my emotions! I even looked up the word "restore" to check...it means to "return to its original condition", to "return to life", to "repair". So what those four words were saying to me was that God can and is repairing my mind and emotions - parts of me that have been damaged by things in the past. He's putting them back the way they should be. And there I was asking for something when God has already promised to do it.

It reminded me of a speaker at church a few months ago where he talked about God's promises and petrol pumps. When you take your car to the petrol station you need petrol and there is lots there. But none of it goes into your car unless you put the nozzle into your petrol tank and connect the source to where it has to go. In the same way, the speaker explained, we need to be connected to what God has for us and wants us to have... and the way that happens is through a promise.

So I've found the promise. God will restore my mind, my will and my emotions. Looks like I will have to read the rest of Psalm 23 tomorrow - I need to stop here for a while to say thank you!

Valleys

2007-08-21T21:55:00.000+01:00

Well I have been busy working on my kitchen and today thought I'd make a start on the spare room. It hasn't been decorated since I moved in here. As I was moving some stuff I came across some Lou Lewis cassettes. She is a Christian singer that I went to see once when I was at uni and I spent a lot of time listening to her songs. I have no idea where she is now but here is one of my favourite songs of hers called "Valleys" and quite appropriate to how I've been feeling lately...

You've been walking in the valley of despair
Wondering if I care that you're living in confusion
But don't you know the breaking of your heart
Will open up the part that can shine with my reflection
And love will never let you down, always be around
To catch you when you fall
And light will never fail to come, bringing you the Son
And saying when you call...I am the way

And you've been walking in the valley of doubt
Trying to find out the things that you believe in
But don't you see that living in my word
Is not just things you've heard
But the things that you're receiving
And love will never let you down, always be around
To catch you when you fall
And light will never fail to come, bringing you the Son
And saying when you call...I am the truth

And you've been walking in the valley of tears
Facing all your fears...you need a resurrection
But don't you know the lessons that you've learned
Will keep you always turned in the right direction
And love will never let you down, always be around
To catch you when you fall
And light will never fail to come, bringing you the Son
And saying when you call...I am the way, the truth and the life

Pilchy's Holiday Adventure

2007-08-10T20:57:00.000+01:00

This week I have been on a special trip to meet some special people. Here's how it all went...

Tuesday
I got up nice and early and got everything packed to go. I really hope this doesn't start sounding like what the kids write then you ask them to write all about their holiday. I will try to make it a bit more interesting *gets thesaurus off the shelf*. So I put my destination into the computer and off I go. Well not quite as I stop at Asda to get some food for lunch as I didn't have time to arrange a bank loan in order to get some food at a service station. £1.79 for a sausage roll there!

Driving down the M1 was uneventful really and there weren't any traffic jams so I got to Muswell Hill late afternoon. I had decided to split my journey into stages so I didn't have to drive too far in one day. The hotel in Muswell Hill was nice, although the car parking wasn't very good as although you could park right outside the hotel, other people came along and parked on the road so that you couldn't get out. Hopefully they will be gone by morning. The hotel had free wireless internet access so I was able to share my adventure with a few friends who were online such as Lilmiss.

I found a nice Chinese restaurant in Muswell Hill to get something to eat and enjoyed my usual Lemon Chicken! It was very quiet. Unfortuntely later on as I was trying to sleep there seemed to be a constant supply of people outside shouting for no good reason. Added to that, my window wouldn't shut so I didn't get a lot of sleep that night. I find it quite hard to sleep in a strange place anyway.

Wednesday
I was glad to see that I was now able to get my car out as whoever had blocked the entrance had moved. I checked out of the hotel and parked my car along the street instead. Then I got a number 134 bus to Camden Market. There were a few goths and strange people standing on street corners with placards but not as many as I had anticipated. Had a nice wander around the market although I wasn't tempted to buy any of the brightly coloured wellingtons.

At lunch time I set off for Devon. This was a really nice drive and there was some lovely countryside on the way. At about 6pm I arrived at the guesthouse in Torquay where I was going to stay. I had booked all my rooms a few days before using the website laterooms.com which is really useful. They were really welcoming at the guest house and I had a nice room with 3 beds in it so I could choose which one I wanted. After settling in, I went for a walk down to the seafront and took lots of interesting photos. There was also a funfair although I didn't go on any of the rides. I made my way back to the guesthouse when it got dark. I made arrangements with Emma who I was to meet the next day and chatted to Sarah although she was almost asleep. I slept much better here - probably because I was quite tired.

Thursday
This was the most exciting day of the holiday as I had planned to meet two special friends for the first time. After having breakfast - yummy toast with jam on it, I drove into Torquay and had a look around the shops. I also got some postcards and some fudge. Then I drove to Exeter Station which didn't take long. Emma had texted me to tell me she would be a bit later than planned and I waited for her outside the station. Suddenly a voice came out of nowhere and said "hello" and it was Emma and little baby Ben. He was really cute and Emma was really nice too and we got on well straight away.

We had a walk to the post office where there was a really fun lift. Well I think Ben really enjoyed it. Then I drove down the the quay and we all had lunch in a little cafe there. Emma told me how her dad had built the bridge. Ben really enjoyed going over the bumpy bits. I took some photos there too, especially of the ferry that took you across the water for 30p when there was a bridge that you could walk across by taking a 5 minute walk. Emma told me all about Sarah who I was meeting that evening and told me how nice she was and how she would be really easy to get along with and that she was pretty too.

It was a really hot day and Ben had to keep under his umbrella. We walked to the cathedral and Emma posed for a special picture where she stood with her water bottle and pointed. It was then time for me to drive to the village of Hook where I would be staying that night so I said goodbye to Emma and I was on my way.

A pleasant afternoon drive got me to the hotel in Hook. I checked into the hotel and got ready to meet with Sarah. She had to get home from work and then get changed really fast and then get to Hook all before the restaurant closed but she was really fast and she made it in time. She sent me a text to let me know that she was there and I came outside and found her.

Sarah was just as Emma had described her - really nice and just as pretty as I had imagined. We had a meal in the hotel restaurant which was quite empty. There was a quiz on in the hotel so we attempted to answer the questions but we didn't really know many of the answers. I was really glad to finally meet Sarah and was quite sad when she had to go home... I hope that she enjoys the fudge that she took with her.

Well I haven't opened my thesaurus yet and Sarah wanted me to find lots of words to describe her so here goes...let me see what nice ones I can find: adorable, beautiful, captivating, distinct (from Cashy 2, 3, 4 and 5), exceptional, fascinating, gracious, happy, interactive, jaunty, kind, likeable, modest, nervous (only a little bit though), observant, pretty, questionning, responsive, smiling, tired (it had been a long day), unambiguous, vibrant, warm, x-factorish (not in the thesaurus but this is a difficult letter), youthful, zestful - I hope there's enough there!

Friday

So after a reasonable night's sleep in the hotel I got up and drove to Guildford. I wanted to experience a road called the Hogsback which Sarah drives on all the time so I found that and went up and down it a few times. Then I drove to Guildford and had a look around the shops before starting my drive home at 12.00 - it should have taken just over three hours but there were loads of traffic jams so I got home about half past 5.

That was my holiday adventure! Lots of driving but I got to meet Sarah and Emma and of course Ben and I got to visit some interesting places that I had never been to before. I will have to organise another Pilchy Holiday Adventure soon!

Pilch's Holiday Diary - Day 4

2007-07-26T22:21:00.001+01:00

I have been working on my book today - here is a little bit of what I wrote today. It is in a chapter about becoming a follower and how this requires a certain kind of obedience...

Ask Him when you don’t feel worthy enough to ask.

It’s difficult to ask God for the things we need sometimes. Our thinking tells us that there is some kind of balance system in place so that if we are good and do the right things God will give us everything we need and if we make mistakes and do the wrong thing then God will leave us on our own to suffer. It’s true that we can end up suffering from the consequences of our sinful actions, but it’s not true that God abandons us because we have taken some wrong turns. He still loves us.

Part of our obedience to Him involves relying on Him to supply our needs and being obedient to Him when He says that when we need something we are to go to Him and ask. The alternative is to rely on ourselves and our own strength and that usually ends in disaster and sends us further from God.

Asking for our needs to be met, for God to be involved in our lives is a great privilege, but it is also His will for us so it’s something we need to do despite those feelings and emotions that tempt us not to.

Trust Him when your experience says to only trust in yourself and the mistakes of the past.

The past can be a great barrier to obedience. If something was tried in the past and didn’t work then there is a very strong urge to believe that it won’t in the future. To make sense of the world around us we have to generalise in some way and we can decide that a present situation is exactly the same as a previous one and that as a result it will turn out exactly the same.

Being obedient to God, however, means going against this. Firstly things aren’t exactly the same but secondly God is able to make things turn out in different ways. Sometimes it’s just a matter of timing. Experiences from the past are there to be learnt from, but it’s only God that is shaping our future.

(Postal Cricket Update... got 5 items of mail today so that makes the score 16-0)

Pilch's Holiday Diary - Day 3

2007-07-25T22:02:00.000+01:00

Had a bit of a lie in this morning...no more nightmares though which was good. Then did a bit of tidying up before deciding that today was shopping day.

Asda, but no ordinary Asda. They sell everything a normal Asda sells - apart from food. No food. No bread, no milk, no chocolate, no bagels, nothing. Just everything else. So I got lots of plastic storage boxes to help with my tidy up. They don't have normal check outs either but a post office queueing system instead where you wait for the computer voice to say "cashier number 5 please" and you go to that person. As there was no food I had to drive to another Asda to get some. They should really think this through.

Great day for postal cricket....scored a 6! (Yesterday I only scored 1). Got a nice postcard from the Lake District too, including a bar of Kendal Mint Cake...chocolate covered...yum!

Current score: 11 for 0

Pilch's Holiday Diary - Day 2

2007-07-24T22:51:00.001+01:00

Well it was a better night's sleep thanks to Nat's kindly flock of sheep. Although I did wake up with a cold sweat after having a nightmare that one of the letters of the alphabet suddenly got deleted from the entire world (can't remember which one, sorry). Just imagine the chaos. Lots of people would have to change their names. The alphabet chart in my classroom would have an annoying gap in it. Thankfully I was awake before any more catastrophic effects.

I went to the shops and went to pick up some things from the post office. There were 4 parcels! One was a tea towel fundraising kit. Two were Joyce Meyer CDs and the fourth was the sound cable for my Nintendo Wii so I finally got that working (and won a game of tennis after facing 3 match points). I started feeling really dizzy at the shops so decided to cut the trip short but still managed to buy a new duvet and pillows and some books from the Oxfam shop.

Have been feeling much better today and went to the Chinese to get sweet and sour chicken for tea - my first proper meal since last Thursday. There are loads of Chinese take aways near where I live - most have a delivery service but I thought I would drive round for once. I couldn't get a parking spot outside the one I usually go to so had to park about 3 cars down. It was only on my way back to the car that I realised another one had opened along that street and I had parked right outside it!

Pilch's Holiday Diary - Day 1

2007-07-23T20:00:00.000+01:00

Pilch's blog is BACK!!!

Well the Summer Hols have started but I have been feeling unwell over the weekend so it wasn't a good start. Think it's just some virus or infection or something but I could hardly get out of bed for 3 days. I am beginning to feel better now and it's good to stop looking at the bedroom walls.

It's at times like that when you realise what utter rubbish is on the TV these days. I was lying in bed for hours, couldn't sleep and just wanted a little bit of entertainment. But despite the hundreds of channels now available, on all of them is rubbish. Most of the things on I don't think anyone would want to watch so why do they bother? The most interesting thing I could find out of all of the channels was the golf... people endlessly hitting a little ball around... very very boring. And irritating too after a while when you suddenly realise the number of times that the commentators (who presumably are being paid to do this) watch a golf ball hit a tree or a fence or something and shout "Oh my God"... do they really think that God is interested in such things? Do they really think that people want or need to hear them say it?

Haven't done much today apart from rest and try to eat but I'm still not hungry. I'm still not sleepy either even though I spent most of last night wide awake wondering when my brain would decide it was time for some sleep. Hopefully I will sleep better tonight.

Today's score in postal cricket...4 for 0

(What's postal cricket? Well you add up the number of letters that come through your door each morning and that is your score for the day - up to a maximum of 6. If you are "out" when the postman knocks on your door with a parcel or something then you are "out" in the game and lose a wicket. If the postman sees you then he has "caught" sight of you so you are also "out") Well it's something to do!

Anyway

2007-06-24T21:50:00.001+01:00

Had a great night at church tonight...Sunday Night Live and one of the songs was "Anyway" by Martina Mcbride. I haven't heard of her before but I just had to download the song when I got home because the lyrics are so powerful. The bit about loving someone with all your heart even though they can choose to walk away really spoke to me. That has happened to me - they have walked away, but I need to keep loving people anyway. Even when that love is rejected.

Anyway

You can spend your whole life buildin'
Something from nothin
One storm could come and blow it all away
Build it anyway

You could chase a dream
That seems so out of reach
And you know it might not ever come your way
Dream it anyway

God is great but sometimes life aint good
And when I pray
It doesn't always turn out like i think it should
But I do it anyway
I do it anyway

This worlds gone crazy
And it's hard to believe
That tomorrow will be better than today
Believe it anyway

You can love someone with all your heart
For all the right reasons
And in a momemt they can choose to walk away
Love 'em anyway

God is great but sometimes life aint good
And when I pray
It doesn't always turn out like i think it should
But I do it anyway
Yeah I do it anyway

You can pour your soul out singin'
A song you believe in
That tomorrow they'll forget you ever sang
Sing it anyway
Yeah sing it anyway

I sing
I dream
I love anyway

What's in a name?

2007-06-21T18:54:00.000+01:00

Do you know what your name means?

The bible is full of names that tell you something about the person who has that name, and people were quite often given names for a reason...Jesus (God saves), Abraham (Father of many), Isaac (laughter), John (the Lord has been gracious), Noah (comfort) to mention just a few.

It's not common for people nowadays to think about the meaning of their name or if it's relevant or says something about them. It still can though and it's worth finding out what your name means. Here are a few that I have looked up:

Sarah - princess...if you are a princess then that means that you are related to the King and that the King will do anything for you. You're the King's daughter and He loves you. You're royalty - a special person. And of course a princess is always beautiful.

Natalie - French form of Natalya which is a Russian name derived from Natalis which means birthday. So you're always the birthday girl! Anyone called Natalie should have a birthday everyday. There is a Saint Natalia too who helped people.

Kirsty - (sorry long one this) Scottish name, a pet form of Kirstin which is a Scottish form of Christine which is a form of Christina, which is a simplified form of Christiana which is the feminine form of Christianus which is the Latin for Christian. So in the end, Kirsty means a Christian!

Zoe - life...when God promises to give "new life" ("...and in His love He will give you new life" Zephaniah 3:17) then He is really saying there will be a "new Zoe".

Ann Marie - Ann is a variant of Anne which is derived from the Hebrew name Hanna which means 'He has favoured me'. Marie is the French form of Maria which is a respelling of Mary. It is the New testament form of Miriam which means 'star of the sea'. So Ann Marie means 'God has favoured His star of the sea'

Rachel - from the Latin Rachiela which literally means "mad girl who writes a blog and then comments on it 12 times". OK I made that up. Rachel means ewe in Hebrew. It is an extremely popular Jewish name and was the name of Jacob's wife in the bible and the mother of Joseph.

Well I have only looked up a few, but if you would like me to look up yours and add it then please leave a comment and I will see what I can do.

Some Days

2007-06-20T22:41:00.000+01:00

Some days I feel so joyful,
Some days close to despair.
Some days I feel like praising,
Some days I just don't care.
But every day through joy or sorrow,
God's love is changing me,
So no matter how I'm feeling,
I'm sure of victory.

Some days I see God's glory,
Some days I really know.
Some days I'm close to heaven,
Some days my faith is low.
But every day God sends His Spirit,
To make me more like Him,
So that when my heart is broken,
His Christ-life can begin.

Some days I feel God near me,
Some days He hides away.
Some days I feel so guilty,
Some days I cannot pray.
But every day He calls me righteous -
Sufficient is His grace!
So that when He comes in glory,
I'll be his masterpiece.

I wrote those words many years ago at a time of my life when I was really struggling. As Christians I think that it's important that we don't go around pretending that we have everything sorted, that we have a fantastic prayer life and that we feel God's presence every moment when there are times when this isn't true. Despite our circumstances though, we need to confess what is true about God... and to do that even when we think we have let Him down.

Firstly He wants to change us and He will use whatever circumstances we find ourselves in to do that... even if it's all our own fault (which usually it isn't). He can do that by His Holy Spirit if we are willing to let Him. Being victorious over things that we can't control doesn't depend on our feelings, it depends on what God did to give us that victory.

Secondly God wants us to be like Jesus and that's not an impossible dream. A new Christian asked me once if he would ever be like Jesus and I said 'yes'. "Dear friends, now we are children of God, and what we will be has not yet been made known. But we know that when he appears, we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is. " (1 John 3:2). It is often only in those dark, heartbroken moments - when it hurts so much that you can't move, that something deep inside you is opened up and God is allowed to touch that place. Being like Jesus requires a transformation deep inside our soul and although God doesn't want to see us heartbroken, He will use our heartbreaks to reach parts of us that otherwise we would never expose.

Thirdly God declares us righteous, not because of what we do, but because of what Jesus did. Grace reaches down from heaven and says that it doesn't matter how wrong we are, we are going to be declared right. Only grace can ensure that one day we will be God's masterpiece... whole, complete, just like Jesus. It will take a lifetime and more, but it's going to happen.

Two kinds of people in the world

2007-06-19T21:07:00.000+01:00

There are two very different types of people in the world.

The first important day of your life is when you are born and this happens to everyone. You can't choose the time or the place...but one day you just turn up. Maybe into a rich family, royalty even or maybe into difficult circumstances. Some people just live the life they have been given and this may be an easy life filled with comfort or it may be a difficult life marked by hardship and tragedy. None of this makes any difference to the type of person you are. That's because there isn't just one important day in your life.

There's the day that you were born... and then there's the day when you discover why. Everyone has a purpose, a reason to be here. But some people never discover it. Those who do live very different lives and are a different type of person to those who don't. So how do you find out why?

1. Develop a close relationship with God - He knew your destiny before you were born. He will lead you and guide you if you let Him - and you will discover your purpose.
2. Pay attention to what makes you mad. Your complaint can become your purpose. It might just be that you were put on this earth to put right the very thing that makes you angry.
3. Realise that you do have a destiny. Don't be afraid to dream and believe in those dreams if you think they are from God.
4. Be patient - you might have to go through a few things and learn a few things about yourself before you discover who you really are.
5. You might be thinking you are the exception - that everyone else has a reason to exist, but not you. You're wrong. There's only one of you. You're unique and there's something you were destined to do, a person you were destined to be and a dream that belongs to you. Believe it.

There are two kinds of people in the world - those who are just born, and those who know why they were born. Two very different kinds of people, two very different lives. One is just existing, the other has purpose and direction. One is common and one is rare. It doesn't take long to be able to tell the difference.

How to get rid of friends that you don't want

2007-06-18T20:16:00.001+01:00

I have this friend... well I say "friend" but they aren't that really - all they do is get in my way and I've had enough of it. They have been doing this for quite some time. Ok, maybe it's my fault for allowing them to get close in the first place but I have decided that I don't want to be friends with them anymore.

I'm tired of having to think about them all the time - and I keep on letting what they want to do come first. I just give in to their demands rather than do what is right for me. I can't do the things that I really want to do because they don't like it. They get really jealous if I spend time with anyone else and they always seem to be there in the background - when all I want to do is forget about them. In fact sometimes I would go so far as to call it harrassment.

I've tried to give them hints that I don't want them around me but they take absolutely no notice. They are hurting my Christian walk too...I know it clearly says in the bible that I shouldn't be friends with them and that whilst I am, I can't be the person I am meant to be. They are really hard to shake though, even when I tell them what the bible says.

So this is it. I'm not going to be friends anymore. I've had enough. I know that they won't leave me alone unless I really stand up to them. It's in their nature. But from now on, I refuse to let them have control over my life. I want to live my life for God and they aren't going to hold me back.

I want to warn anyone that is reading this that you need to avoid this so-called "friend" and not let them come anywhere near you. Don't speak to them, unless it's to tell them that you're not having them around or that you are going to do what you want to do whatever they might have to say about it. Don't let them get into your life. Maybe you already know them - well if you do then do what I am doing... have nothing to do with them. You'll never be free if you don't deal with them straight away.

And just in case you are in any doubt who I am talking about I am going to name names. They won't like it but I'm not scared of them anymore. The name is... FEAR. Why not get a new friend instead? I'm off now to spend a bit of time with my new friend... Faith. They are the total opposite to Fear. I think we will get on really well.

Your mess can become your message

2007-06-17T20:10:00.000+01:00

Last night I ended up somewhere quite unexpected.

It all began on Friday night when I was chatting online to Zoe. I used to chat to Zoe a few years ago and we also have a common friend but I only really caught up with her last week. She is going through some rough times at the moment and describes her life as "a mess". We were talking about when she got saved and the preacher that night who was Barry Woodward and so she showed me his website. Then we found out that he would be launching his new book at a church 7 miles from where Zoe lives! So last night that's where I was.

Barry told his story. He used to be a drug dealer and heroin addict in Manchester. His life was one of addiction, crime and prison. But then his life was changed when he had an encounter with God. (You'll have to read his book "Once an addict" - he calls it that because people used to say to him 'Once an addict, always an addict' but that didn't turn out to be true - he was 'once an addict', full stop.) Now he tells his story and his mess has become his message. And the message is a powerful one - it doesn't matter where you find yourself or what sort of mess you are in...God can still use you - and your mess really can become your message.

Zoe - I know that will be true for you. It was good to see you there and I know that one day you will make your mess your message too. You belong to God and nothing can take you away from Him. You will make it through and you will be on the other side saying 'that's where I was, but I'm not there now' and you will have a testimony to tell!

Sarah - I know that you are going through some things at the moment too, and I will be thinking about you tomorrow. God will look after you and everything will be ok.

If you are reading this and you are hurting; if you think that there's no way that you can be reached or that God couldn't do anything with your life - think again. If God can transform a drug dealing addict into an awesome man of God then nothing is impossible. Nothing. If the devil comes after you telling you something different then tell him that you are going out to buy some sunglasses. Like I said to Zoe, you're going to need them! Tell the devil that your future is so bright that you are going to need sunglasses to see it!

Now that really really makes him mad.

Credited to my account

2007-06-16T10:45:00.001+01:00

I had a letter this morning - "NOTICE OF FULL SERVICE RESTRICTION"!

Apparently, I owe £5.71 on my mobile phone account. If I don't pay it immediately then this may "lead to some or all of the actions below" -

1. Disconnection of my phone from the network
2. Termination Fees
3. It will affect my credit rating
4. My account will be transferred to a debt collection agency.

Sounds quite serious - a bit like sin.

1. Sin disconnects you from God - you can't be close to him and you feel that you aren't part of His "network" anymore.
2. Sin terminates your account - you can't go to heaven whilst you still have a debt of sin.
3. Sin affects your credit rating with God - He can't give you all the blessings He has planned for you whilst you are guilty with sin.
4. Sin has a debt collection agency... the devil - he is intent on collecting your life.

So I phoned up the mobile phone company and explained that I shouldn't owe this amount because my account has been closed. The kind lady on the phone said immediately "I will credit it to your account - is there anything else that you would like me to do for you?"

Jesus credited to our account the full amount that we owed for our sin when he died on the cross. Anytime we feel guilty all we have to do is speak to Him and say we are sorry. Each sin reminder that comes to us can be dealt with by admitting it and then allowing Jesus to credit our account. He even asks if there is anything else we would like him to do for us.

1. With our debt of sin cleared by the cross, we can be part of God's network. We can be in His presence and not feel guilty or ashamed.
2. With our debt of sin cleared by the cross, our account is still open - we can reach heaven.
3. With our debt of sin cleared by the cross, our credit rating with God is as good as Jesus' credit rating. We can ask and receive and there's no good thing that God will withold from us.
4. With our debt of sin cleared by the cross, the devil can't collect. He can't have your life - he has no right to it. Anytime he sends you a demand for payment, tell him it's been paid in full. When he offers you credit, tell him that only Jesus takes the credit.

I am expecting another letter soon from the mobile phone company saying my account has been settled in full and that I don't owe anything more. I have a similar letters from God about my sin...

"Therefore there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death" (Romans 8:1)

"God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God" (2 Cor 5:21)

"If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness." (1 John 1:9)

ACCOUNT CLEAR

How to be wise

2007-06-14T21:03:00.000+01:00

Natalie keeps saying how wise she thinks I am, and how she would like to "steal some of Pilch's wisdom and put it in a bottle" so I thought I would have a think about how to be more wise. I think wisdom is something we all need and I am grateful for whatever wisdom God has given me and for the wisdom that I have got from others.

1. If you want wisdom, ask for it. I have been reading the book of Kings where Solomon is asked by God what he would like and he wisely asks for wisdom. And because he hasn't asked for material things or selfish things such as long life, God gives him the wisdom he asked for. (Oh and gives him the material things and the long life too!)

2. If you want to be wise then listen to wise people and be open to what they have to say. You don't have to agree with every word they say but take the time to think about it. I have listened to lots of wise people... look them up and see if you can read books they have written or listen to what they have to say: Paul Scanlon, Joyce Meyer, Leon Fontaine, Casey Treat, Paul DeJong, Bayless Conley, Brian Houston, John Mason, J. John.

3. Read the book of Proverbs in the bible - it's full of wise advice, especially about being wise. In fact a wise person would spend a lot of time reading the Word of God and not just the book of Proverbs!

4. Today I had to go to a meeting and look at children's books to see if they had been marked well. Being told when you have got something wrong is important if you want to be wise. How else would you improve yourself? But most people hate to be corrected or told that they are wrong - they get upset, feel hurt and take it personally. A wise person "listens to advice" (Prov 12:15) and they appreciate instruction (Prov 9:9). The book of Proverbs teaches that a wise person loves correction. They want to know where they are going wrong, but don't allow it to make them feel down or have wounded pride. They know that to improve they have to know where they went wrong and are glad to find out because they know that the more things they know about that can be improved, the better they will be!

5. Watch what you say. "Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing." (Proverbs 12:18) - probably the wisest place to start if you want to become more wise is on what you say. With wise words you can stop an argument, stop someone hurting so much, make friends and diffuse difficult situations. With the wrong words you can destroy someone's reputation or make their life a misery.

Living in Today

2007-06-13T18:18:00.000+01:00

Last year is gone. You don't have last year anymore. Yes, there are things that happened last year that changed you. There were successes that you enjoyed that gave you more self confidence - but they are mostly forgotten. There were things that hurt you and caused you pain that you thought would never go away - but the pain has gone and you have been changed. Sometimes we let the things of the past cause us new pain and heartache but the cause of this has gone and it's only that we choose to keep on reminding ourselves of it. There are things that you learnt and have never forgotten - they are a part of you now. There are friends that you made and friendships that have grown, but you only have the friends that are there now. Some friends are gone and the times you had together a distant memory. They too may have changed you but it's just the changes that are still with you. You're a year older now and some days are totally forgotten...and you can't go back.

Last month is gone too. You can still remember things about it - the weather was a bit different and the days have got warmer or colder since then. You have grown apart from some people that you were close to and grown closer to others that you didn't really know then. You've found out things since last month that have made you think differently. Things that you worried about a few weeks ago have dissolved to nothing... and new challenges have presented themselves in their place.

Even yesterday is gone. The ripples of what happened yesterday are still very close and you can still feel their effects, but you can't live in yesterday. There's nothing there that you can go back and change. The things you planned to do yesterday but never did are still needing to be done. The things that you completed yesterday are done with and you don't need to do them again.

Today... that's all there is. Tomorrow everything could change. Tomorrow you could meet someone who radically changes the rest of your life. You could make a decision that takes you somewhere that today you never dreamed of being. You have no idea what tomorrow will bring... it could be just an ordinary day or it could be an extraordinary day. The expected could happen or the unexpected could take you by surprise. That's why you can't spend today worrying about it. Today is the only day you can live in and now is the only time when you will find God. He's not the great "I was" or the great "I will be" - He's the great "I AM". Why worry about what tomorrow brings...you only need to know who brings tomorrow.

I have regrets - things in the past that I would like to have done differently but I can't go back. I have hopes for the future; places that I would like to be and things I would like to do but I can't live on dreams. I have to learn, really have to learn to live for today and it's something I find difficult. The bible says to forget about the past and that's not an easy thing to do. It takes effort. I know that real joy - true joy - lies in living for today. Here - now - that's all I have. Every morning I need to wake up knowing that "this is the day that the Lord has made...I will rejoice and be glad in it."

It's who you are, not what you do that matters

2007-06-12T23:16:00.000+01:00

Who are you? Does anyone ever ask you that apart from when you are somewhere that you aren't supposed to be? When you are getting to know someone one of the first things they ask is "What do you do?" - as in what is your job? Who you are is much more important than what you do, especially in God's kingdom.

You can't impress God with your rank or title, your qualifications or your experience. The only thing you have to offer is you. When you die you won't take any titles, wealth or reputation with you - just you. When you give an account of your life, you won't be presenting God with certificates of achievement, references or diplomas... there will just be Him and you.

It's too easy to get a sense of self worth and value from what we do - yet the job we have could be lost. That wouldn't make us any less valuable to God - He would love us anyway. What really matters to Him is how much of ourselves we are willing to give to Him - to be transformed by Him into His likeness. That's something I really need to focus on, especially when there are so many things going on at work to think about - reports to write, plans to make, things that need to be done. If I wasn't there, then someone else would do them... I would soon be forgotten. It's what is going on inside me that matters more.

So if anyone seems disappointed in you because they aren't impressed with what you do, take no notice. Read God's word, get closer to Him and let Him transform who you are and remember that's what really matters. That's what I need to do... and that's one thing that I will do that does matter.

Caterpillar to Butterfly

2007-06-11T17:02:00.001+01:00

Well today it is Monday but I am going to write about Sunday!

Yesterday I went back to my old church which is a Methodist church. They ask me to go and play the organ sometimes when the usual organist wants a week off. I haven't played the church organ since I was there this time last year but I remembered how it all works. I was a church organist at a Church of England church, starting in my student days - doing that for about ten years. It's a bit strange to play the old hymns again because I am used to more modern worship now. The service included the "wiggly waggly worm" song which I know very well from school. The kids love it and the teachers hate it. Also a few well known methodist hymns and that old favourite "He's got the whole world in His hands".

The theme was changes. The example was of a caterpillar changing into a butterfly. Here are some of my thoughts...

Being a butterfly is what everyone wants to be - compared with the caterpillar the butterfly is beautiful and free. But you can't be a butterfly unless you spend time as a caterpillar first. Most of the time we have a dream and we know it's what we want. We can even know that it's what we are meant to have... yet there are times when we get fed up with the caterpillar stage. We just don't want to be crawling around on leaves when our dream is to fly. Seeing butterflies in the air, we just want to be like them and compare ourselves to them - then see ourselves as ugly and unable to fly. Being at the caterpillar stage requires perseverance.

After being a caterpillar, there's the pupa stage. You are left alone and you are made to struggle. That's when it seems like you'll always be struggling. The struggle is so important though. A man saw a caterpillar in it's pupa stage and felt sorry for it because it was struggling so much. Deciding it was the best thing to do, he cut open the pupa to let the half-formed caterpillar out, but instead of being free the caterpillar died. It needed the struggle to develop strength in it's wings and without the struggle couldn't fly and just died. We have to learn to see our struggles as something that makes us stronger, that develops our potential, that brings us closer to being a butterfly.

Take My Life and Let it Be

2007-06-04T21:01:00.000+01:00

If you haven't watched the video yet then you should...

The tune is a new one but the words are old. They were written by Frances Havergal on February 4th, 1874. Frances was the daughter of a vicar and lived in Worcestershire. She loved to write poems and the poems that she wrote were often printed on leaflets or printed onto cards. She was 37 years old when she went to visit Areley House with 10 other people. Some where Christians and some weren't saved at all. She prayed that God would speak to all of them and He did. She went to bed praising God and thanking him for using her to reach these 10 people and just thought of the lines.

I find the words very challenging. That's if you really mean them. I know that you can sit in church and sing along with the hymns and not mean any of it at all.

"Take my life and let it be consecrated, Lord to Thee." - most people want to keep their life. They want to live it for themselves, fulfil their own desires, come up with their own plans and dream that they will come true. To consecrate your life is to declare it sacred - for God's use alone. I suppose being a Christian is gradually letting that happen but there are so many things that we desperately hold onto.

"Take my moments and my days, let them flow in ceaseless praise." - Easy to praise God when things are going well and you feeling great. Difficult to praise when you are feeling down and things are going wrong. As Christians I think we need to learn to praise God when we don't feel like it... to give Him thanks for who He is, not because everything is going great. We are always going to have trials and they are going to hurt. But knowing, really knowing that God loves us means that somehow we can still praise Him.

"Take my hands and let them move at the impulse of Thy love." - Sometimes doing something to help someone else is easy and we are willing to help. Other times it costs. We need to come to the point where we reach out to help out of impulse...like a reflex that we can't control. Not something that we should think about or consider the cost of, but something we just do. Sometimes hands that do that get hurt - once they got nailed to a cross.

"Take my feet and let them be swift and beautiful for Thee." - Makes me think of the shoes of the gospel of peace... not slow in going to make peace, to apologise, to make things right. Feet that bring good news like a messenger running to tell those who are suffering that they are in danger no more.

"Take my voice and let me sing always, only, for my King." - There are songs filled with hate, swearing and violence. Songs that are lies and blasphemy. Is it good for us to even listen to them? How different would the world be if every song was sung for God - not necessarily about God but honouring Him and his creation.

"Take my lips and let them be filled with messages from Thee." - Too many things that we say hurt people rather than help them. So many things are said out of anger or frustration and once they are said then they can't be taken back.

"Take my silver and my gold, not a mite would I withold." - But we do withold it. A mite is like a penny... a tiny amount. Yet we are always witholding our money. Christians make excuses for not giving their tithes and offerings. We tell God that we need that money - we can't live without it. However much we have, somehow it's just not enough and it can have a hold over you. If God asked you tonight to give as much as you could, how much would you give and how much would you withold? Our money is where our security is - giving it away means giving up that security and having more trust. It's not that God wants us to be penniless, it's that He doesn't want the security of the money we have to be what we rely on, or the money that we don't have to be something that we seek after more than Him.

"Take my intellect and use every power as Thou shalt choose." - And I thought I could keep my intellect for myself! God has to have everything - all that I have to give, even that.

"Take my will and make it Thine, it shall be no longer mine." - How do people stand in church and sing that? Do they turn their brains off? Did they realise what they just said! Imagine a world where every born-again Christian gives their will totally to God... says to Him "I'll do whatever you want, Lord." Our will is at the very centre of who we are and submitting it is a struggle. It doesn't want to let us! God has to work on us every day, from the inside out, to gradually wear down our wills because they are so strong. That's not to say that if we did give God our wills we would have an awful life - on the contrary we would have a fantastic life... but that will does not want to die!

"Take my heart - it is Thine own, it shall be Thy royal throne." - We have to have a heart transplant! The sinful human heart can't love in the way God wants us to. He has to transplant a different heart to replace the heart of stone that we were born with. Then it can be God's royal throne... the place where he is Lord and the place where He has to become Lord first before we can surrender anything else.

"Take my love: my Lord I pour at Thy feet its treasure-store." - And once He is Lord in our hearts then there is treasure to be poured out. The treasure of worship, humility, sacrifice, thinking of others more than ourselves.

"Take myself, and I will be ever, only, all for Thee." - One day... yes one day everything will be surrendered...my moments, days, hands, feet, voice, words, silver, gold, intellect, will, heart, love. It takes time - some things may be given up easily and some may take a lifetime. But I do belong to Him and I want to learn how to surrender more and I know He will teach me.

Tangled Thoughts

2007-06-04T16:56:00.000+01:00

Natalie wrote about her tangled thoughts and I often have them too. So here are some thoughts about thoughts....

1. You don't have to think the thoughts that are in your head. Just because a thought is there, doesn't mean you have to accept it. Some thoughts are just lies - like "I'm ugly" or "I'll never achieve anything" or "I can't do it". You can think those thoughts all day long but that doesn't make them true. None of them are true. When people say something like that about themselves I ask them "who told you" and they often reply "I did!". Who needs enemies when you are going to think wrong things without anyone having said a word.

2. Thoughts become habits. If you think the same thought over and over again then it's a habit that you will have to break and this can be hard. You have to start thinking right thoughts rather than wrong ones. It helps too if you say out loud what the right thoughts are. If you need some right thoughts to think then look in your bible. Go on Lilmiss's blog and read "A Father's Love Letter" and start thinking some of the right thoughts about God and how He feels about you.

3. Thoughts affect how you feel. If you feel down and depressed, it's your thoughts that have done it. So you need to stop the ones that are making you feel like that. Choose to think something else instead. Find a friend and talk to them about something completely different so that you don't have time to think the negative thoughts. When your mind is filled with confusing thoughts choose to think about something else.

4. Don't let anyone else affect how you think. If someone is upset, you don't have to be upset with them. If someone else might get hurt but you aren't doing the hurting then don't use up all your thoughts thinking about them. Yes, pray for them - help them if you can... but don't let thoughts of them take over your thought life. If you are down and hurting yourself then you can't help anyone anyway. To help someone else you need to be thinking clearly.

5. Some people think too much. I am like that. I just think and think and think about something but never actually reach a solution. Sometimes it doesn't matter how much you think about something that is bothering you - thinking doesn't fix it. The best thing to do is pray about it... and leave it alone. That's hard to do and I need to learn how to do that but it makes sense... I think ;-)

What makes a good friend?

2007-06-02T17:40:00.000+01:00

I am at my mum's house today. There were a few roadworks on the way here and at one point it said on the motorway text system "SLOW - ANIMALS ON THE ROAD" so I thought it would be a bit like a drive through safari with tigers wandering around and monkeys pulling off your ariel but after driving in really slow traffic for a couple of miles it suddenly said "END" and there wasn't an animal in sight. I think the person operating the signs must have been a bit bored this morning.

I have managed to sort out my mum's computer so that she can sell things on Ebay again. She was having trouble uploading her photos. Just had fish and chips for tea which was nice.

As I was driving along in the car I was thinking about what makes a good friend...

1. Someone that you can rely on to be the same. If they like talking to you on Monday then they still do on Tuesday. If they drive down the HogsBack on Thursday, then they drive down it again on Friday. If they leave a nice message on your blog once they leave nice messages again. You know where you are with people like that rather than ones that are pleased to see you one day but are mad at you the next.

2. Someone that you can talk about anything with. You don't have to worry about them not wanting to hear about certain things. Some friends even make up new words with you and then you use the new words together knowing that one day there will be a special entry in the Oxford English Dictionary.

3. Someone who is just themselves. If they are a bit down then they say so - if they are excited then they are excited. I know it seems to go against point 1 but it doesn't really. You can be real and still consistent at the same time. Not easy though - everyone has to work on that.

4. Someone that leaves a comment on your blog. Very important because then you know that someone has read it, even though they might have read it but said nothing. So it doesn't have to be a long comment. Short comments are just as good. You better do that now then?

Friday

2007-06-01T23:19:00.000+01:00

I got up early this morning so I could go into my classroom to do some planning. Spent the whole morning with another teacher planning next week's fun activities but was a bit jibblistic really. Next week is Fire Fighter week - going to make some fire trucks out of boxes, read a book about Fire Fighting and colour some fire engine pictures.

Cashy phoned me again today on her way to work. It's interesting to hear about the roads she goes down and the road traffic accidents and forest fires that she drives past. Sometimes she misses her turning because she isn't concentrating on where she is going. I hope she likes the chocolate raisins I got her yesterday.

It says so in the book

2007-05-29T10:56:00.000+01:00

I had to get up early this morning to go to the eye centre. Because I have diabetes, I have to go once a year to have my eyes checked because diabetes can cause blindness. That's caused by your blood sugar being too high and you don't know it's happening until it's too late. They put drops into your eyes that make your pupils dilate. This has 2 effects - things close up become very blurred (so it's tricky finding the number for the taxi to get you home) and you are very sensitive to bright light (so need to wear sunglasses or keep in the shadows). Anyway everything was fine and there are no problems.

As I was waiting for the taxi I had a thought. Just like too much sugar can cause blindness, in a way that you don't notice - in the same way, too much of the world can cause you to become blind too. Blind to God's word and what He says. You don't realise it's happening but gradually, day by day, if you let yourself be conformed to the "patterns of the world" (Romans 12:2) then you are becoming blind.

It's so important to do regular checks with God's word to see what it says. Often the world says one thing, your emotions scream at you another thing - yet the bible says something completely different. Yesterday Nat and I read the book of James and so here are some of the things it says...

1. The testing of my faith will develop perseverance. The more testing it is, the more perseverance I will have. Then I will be "mature and complete".
It says so in the book. (James 1:2-4)

2. If I need wisdom, all I have to do is ask and I have it. It says so in the book. (James 1:5)

3. If I stand the test...if I go through then I will "receive the crown of life." It says so in the book. (James 1:12)

4. If I submit to God and resist the devil then the devil will flee. If I come near to God, He will come near to me. It says so in the book. (James 4:7-8)

5. If I humble myself before the Lord, He will lift me up. Despite how I feel, no matter what anyone else says or anyone else thinks... that's what He will do because it says so in the book. (James 4:10)

It doesn't matter to me what the world says or what my emotions say or what my past experience says or what other people say... these things are true because it says so in the book. Some things require me to do my part, but when I have, the rest is settled. It says so...in the book.

I will go through

2007-05-28T09:39:00.000+01:00

I'm going through a few things at the moment. Feeling pain, crying tears, trying to make sense of things that totally confuse me. The bible says that the devil is stalking around to see who he can devour and it seems like he's after me, but here's something he needs to know...

I am going through.

I don't care how much it hurts or how long this lasts... I am going through and I am going to be there at the other side stronger, wiser and closer to God.

And here's the bit that will make him tremble. When I have gone through I am going back to help every person that I come across who is going through this too. I am going to be there when someone says that they are confused saying "I know how you feel - now I'll show you how to get through". I'll be there when someone is hurting and thinks that no-one understands saying "I understand because I've been through. So hold on a bit longer...you'll make it." I'll be there when someone thinks that they will never make it saying "Yes you will, I know you will because God brought me through and He will bring you through too."

So I'm not sitting here helpless. Oh no. You see I'm going through and everytime I feel like giving up I'm not going to because I have something called "nevergiveuppidness" which is a cast iron stubbornness that won't give in, no matter how hard it gets, no matter how much faith is attacked. The bible calls that "patience" and along with that is the fruit of "joy". The fruit of joy isn't always singing and dancing and laughter. Sometimes it's just knowing that God is there and that He will get you through and you can know that through tears as well as smiles.

When it hurts

2007-05-27T15:02:00.000+01:00

It's what you do when it hurts that shows how deeply God has saturated your heart.

The music began and the crowd sang yet I felt more like crying than singing. Sometimes things can hurt you and you don't even understand why. You can be overwhelmed by something that to someone else would be trivial and meaningless but in the context of where you have been in the past and what is really important to you at a given moment, matters a lot.

Then you have a choice. You can give in to your feelings and emotions or you can choose an act of will. I have learnt not to underestimate the power at times like this to force the breath out of your lungs to sing "Great is the Lord" in the middle of hurt and confusion. The devil hates it.

My second choice is to share this. Usually I would just keep it to myself and hide from the world but today it's here. I need to get better at sharing my feelings even if what I say doesn't make a lot of sense.

Things that are never said

2007-05-26T18:06:00.001+01:00

There are so many things that are left unsaid. I have been thinking today about things that I could say but don't - maybe because it would be embarrasing or the person that I said it to wouldn't want to hear it. It's so easy for someone to listen to what you say and hear something completely different. Is it worth the risk of misinterpretation to say what you really think and what you really feel? Do people really want to know that anyway or would they rather shut themselves off from what is true? It's easier to believe what you want to believe rather than what is the truth sometimes anyway, isn't it?

If you sat down and wrote a letter to someone, telling them everything... what would you say? If they promised to read it and not judge you or jump to conclusions... if they loved you enough to accept what is in your heart, what could you write?

Love Part 2

2007-05-26T08:51:00.000+01:00

Love has no kind of points system. It makes no tallies, ticks, crosses or black marks. It doesn't have to check to see if it is deserved or unwarranted.

Love has no way of keeping score of yesterday's mistakes or today's good deeds. It doesn't operate a loyalty card system or have three-for-two offers.

Love can't puts points on your licence or give verbal cautions. Love has no traffic management system, diversions in place or roads closed due to roadworks.

Love doesn't assess how much love it might get in return and measure itself out accordingly. It has no pro-rata payment system. It has no timesheet or signing-in book.

Love has no overtime bonuses or time off in lieu. It has no clocking in machine or parking meter. It doesn't expect to be paid and doesn't need a day off.

Love doesn't keep a good behaviour chart and doesn't make a note of mistakes. It doesn't require any deadlines to be adhered to or have a set of criteria to assess by.

Love doesn't have an expiry date or administer time-limited offers. It has no maximum shelf life.

Love has no terms of contract or conditions of guarantee. It doesn't negotiate deals.

Love doesn't set targets and assess how well they have been met. It doesn't have success criteria or learning goals.

Love doesn't know the meaning of words such as failure, defeat, neglect or manipulation.

From Fisherman to Follower

2007-05-25T13:03:00.000+01:00

It all begins with the heart. Faith is the quiet, inner submission that takes place when you know that you believe. It’s invisible in the sense that no-one can see the inward change that has happened but at the same time it has substance. Faith changes your perspective on the world and faith changes how you respond to it.

The first duty of a follower is to believe and it’s the only duty that is compulsory. You can be a follower by just believing and do nothing else. You'd still be a follower but you won't have followed very far and you shouldn't settle for that.

The first thing a fisherman has to do is believe too. He has to believe that there are fish in the lake today (just like there were yesterday) and that there will be fish in the lake tomorrow. Everything he does relies on his faith in that. If he doesn’t believe there are fish in the lake then he won’t spend hours mending his nets, preparing his boat or pay labourers to help him. It’s the same for a follower, so a fisherman and a follower have much in common. The follower’s faith is the same thing as the fisherman’s faith in many ways. The fish in the lake are unseen until you catch them yet they are always there. God is always there whether you experience Him or not – a follower’s faith is just believing. What is different about the faith of a follower is what you believe in.

You already have lots of faith. You couldn’t operate without it even if you don’t believe in God. Think about all the things that you can’t see at this moment in time but you still believe in them. For each person these things are different but everyone has them.

The planet earth has been in existence for a long time. Before you were born it existed and for many thousands of years before that. You accept that by faith… you weren’t there to see it. Even if you are accepting photographic evidence from before you were born, don’t you believe that the planet that you live on has existed for thousands or millions of years before that? And all that time has the earth been spinning with days and nights? How many days has the earth been in existence? Too many to count? And how many times has dawn followed the night? You get the idea… faith is nothing new to you.

So the faith of a follower is what your faith is in. A follower of God has to believe that God exists in every tense.

1. God is. God is God - you'd think that was obvious but I just love the book of Job in the bible where the guy doesn't know what is happening or why he is suffering and has lost everything. He desperately wants an answer but God is slow in giving him one, until eventually God speaks out of the storm not with answers but with questions.

"Where were you when I laid the earth's foundation? Tell me if you understand. Who marked off its dimensions? Surely you know!"

...and the questions go on and on and on! What God is saying to Job is that God is God - end of discussion. That's who He is, like it or not!

God is many other things too... He is a fortress. He's faithful, good, great and Holy. He's perfect, pure and 100% righteous. He's the same today as He was at the creation of the world and He will still be the same for eternity. He knows everything, sees everything, understands everything.

2. God has. To be a follower you need to believe what God has already done. He's created heaven and earth. He has shown mercy and has saved His people. He has forgiven us - removed our sin "as far as the east is from the west".

3. God will. God keeps all His promises. A follower needs to know that. Find out what God has promised and rely on them. If it's written in the book then it's true. He promises that if you believe in Jesus then you qualify as a follower and that means much more than just this lifetime.

In Me There is Darkness

2007-05-25T08:31:00.000+01:00

In me there is darkness, but in You is light.
In me there is weakness, but You are my might.
Sometimes I feel sorrow, but You, Lord, are joy.
You always rebuild what the world would destroy.

I wanted to find You... but You searched for me;
Forgave all my sins, so that I could go free.
I wanted to reach You by things I had done;
But You chose a cross to reach me through Your Son.

The Parable of the Space Rocket

2007-05-25T08:09:00.001+01:00

A four year old boy loves space rockets and desperately wants to make one. He gets some cereal packets and some glue and tries to put them together to make his rocket. He knows what he wants... the biggest, most amazing space rocket that he can imagine, but he has no idea how to make it. He tries to put the pieces together as best he can but they aren't sticking properly and because he's impatient he doesn't wait for the glue to dry anyway. He looks at his attempt and knows that it isn't right but he also knows that he tried his best.

Then he realises that he needs some help. He gets his dad and says that he wants a space rocket. His dad immediately understands what is in the boy's heart and helps him to make the rocket. His dad knows that the glue hasn't been left to dry for long enough and so explains lovingly how it's necessary to wait until the glue has set when it will be much stronger. In addition to the few boxes the boy has found, dad knows where there are other things that they could use too. He has some shiny paper in his desk and he has some bottle tops that he was going to throw away. With his dad's help, the boy makes a rocket beyond what he had dreamt of and better than he had imagined. The rocket of his dreams only consisted of 3 boxes stuck together and if he had managed that on his own he would have been pleased with it. With his dad's help, he has a rocket that is well made, brightly coloured, won't fall apart easily - with shiny bits and digital readouts and cotton wool smoke.

Later that day his sister comes along whilst the glue is drying and whilst she is playing and not looking at what she is doing, the rocket gets knocked over. The boy is outside playing. Dad sees what has happened though and without even mentioning it to his son, he fixes the rocket.

The next day, when the rocket is completely dry and looks amazing, the little boy plays with it all day and is really happy. Not jus because he loves his rocket, but because of the time his dad spent with him making it and the things that he learnt that he will use next time he wants to make something.

Love

2007-05-24T23:33:00.000+01:00

There are so many ways to love someone...

Patient love...that's love that doesn't give up, no matter what. You need that when it's difficult to love you, when you're in danger of being left alone on your own. Patient love requires sacrifice.

Kind love...being kind when someone isn't kind to you; when they annoy you, irritate you and annoy you. Kind love is kind when there is no reason to be.

Unenvious love... love that doesn't have what the other person has but is happy for them anyway; love that rejoices in someone else's victory whilst still waiting for their own deliverance; love that doesn't just pretend to be happy at someone's success but really is happy. Love like that is hard to find.

Love that doesn't boast...love that comes down to someone else's level to meet them where they are but without an underlying superiority; love that is not afraid to show weakness and that treats selfishness and pride with contempt; love that gives without receiving back in equal measure.

Love that isn't rude or easily angered... love that shows courtesy and respect; love that isn't touchy or irritable. Love that has the grace to take anything that is thrown at it and not retaliate with rudeness or anger. Love that stands the trials of irritation and going round in circles like when dealing with telephone support lines that cost £1 a minute and don't answer even the simplest questions.

Love that doesn't keep a record of wrongs...love that takes no account of a suffered wrong but just goes on as if it never happened; love that can't be offended or upset.

Love that delights in the truth... love that wants to hear the truth no matter how painful or how much it hurts and love that will tell the truth no matter how hard

Love that is a friend, that is there for you and would do anything for you;

Love that wants to be with someone so much it hurts;

Love that isn't blind to your faults, isn't looking at you through rose-tinted spectacles, isn't surprised at what you do but thinks that you are the most amazing person in the whole world...love that would rather spend an hour with you just talking about nothing but with every moment counting for something;

Love that always protects, even when it's costly;

Love that always trusts, even when it's been let down many times before;

Love that always thinks the best no matter what other people say.

"Those three words are said too much... they're not enough"

We all need to give different kinds of love and receive them too. There are people in my life that I love very much and in very different ways. There's someone that needs my patient love and someone that I love as a friend... someone that I would do anything for and someone that I would do anything to be with...someone that needs me to think the best of them and someone that needs my trust. Who needs your love and are you prepared to give it?

Tuesday

2007-05-22T20:52:00.000+01:00

Dreams - they can be really strange. Sometimes you dream about familiar things and sometimes you dream about wierd things. Must be some reason why certain things got into your head though. Here are some dreams that I recall - maybe the many readers of my blog out there could give their interpretations.

1. I was in the shopping centre with a friend. We just walked around for a bit but didn't actually buy anything. We held hands for a while and then went somewhere for lunch.

2. I was having breakfast with someone that I work with. We had toast. Well I had toast - I don't remember what she had.

3. I went to church only to find that my friend was sitting at the back of the church looking after lots of babies. This seemed strange.

...why do I recall these dreams anyway?

A typical day

2007-05-21T21:06:00.000+01:00

6.30 Time to get up, wake up, get ready, think about going back to bed but had better not
7.15 Made a sandwich for lunch - gonna have cheese today... yum - better get going though
7.45 Arrived at work - lots to do... type up a planning sheet, discuss a few things with other people that get there really early too. Had to do a few swaps - Monday afternoon is now Tuesday afternoon; Monday playtime is now Tuesday playtime...stuff like that.
8.10 Toast delivery... strawberry jam today (yummy)
8.55 Kids arrive - have to open the door to let them in. They come in and write their names and then they sit down for the register. I say their names and they say good morning. Some of them come in a bit late.
9.05 Have to line up to go into assembly. It was an especially good line this morning.
9.10 The assembly is all about some bloke and a lion or something. The bloke is a slave but he escapes and finds a lion with a thorn in it's paw. Bravely (or stupidly) he goes over to the lion and takes the thorn out and becomes best friends with the lion. Then (as the teacher doing the assembly asks the children) what is the worst thing that can happen to him? One child suggests he gets eaten by the lion but this idea is dismissed as not possibly being the worst thing (although I was disagreeing at the time) and it is revealed that this "worst thing" is actually being recaptured and being a slave again. Anyway to cut a long story short (the clock in the hall was broken you see) he gets recaptured and is about to be eaten by a lion (this is in Roman times) but the lion doesn't eat him cos it's the friendly lion that he made friends with! This is supposed to teach the kids about being friends with each other so I hope it hasn't taught them that they should try to make friends with a lion because that is going to land them in trouble.
9.40 Got back to class after the assembly. Time for maths. Maths is fun when you are 4. We sang "Five fat sausages frying in a pan" - what happens is that one by one the sausages go "bang" until you have none left. Taught the kids how to draw a frying pan with 5 sausages in it and then cross them out one by one as they go bang. This is advanced stuff and is in the school calculation policy.
10.00 Let them go and play for a bit... play is important - kids learn through play at this age. Some of them were encouraged to draw a frying pan with some sausages (they could do as many as they wanted... some did loads) to show to Mr Crow later on. Mr Crow likes pictures and writing and stuff like that so the kids will do anything for him. Also made some sausages out of play dough and counted them, made them go bang etc.
10.20 Time to tidy up and sit down again.
10.25 Did some patterns with beads. I put some beads on a string that went red-blue-yellow-red-blue-yellow-red... kids had to work out what came next.
10.30 Let them have their milk but they are only allowed some if they chant correctly "bottle and straw and sit on the floor". Most do so they have their milk.
10.35 I am on playground duty so I go outside with my whistle. Sorted out the odd disagreement and gave those that requested it permission to go to the toilet. Made sure that the boys playing football didn't kick it over the fence. Discussed the principal of "finders keepers" with a boy that found a toy in the undergrowth.
10.50 Blew the whistle and the kids lined up. Took my class in to sit down.
10.55 Phonics lesson - we practised the letters of the alphabet doing actions for each one. Then did a bit of writing of easy words like "cat" and "mat" and "mop" which is a long way from not knowing what a letter is.
11.30 Showed Mr Crow his sausage pictures - he liked them a lot.
11.50 Sent kids to wash their hands for lunch.
11.55 Made them line up properly... those that talked got put in the "chatterbox line".
12.00 Sorted out the reading books
12.10 Got some toys out for outdoor play e.g. the scooter
12.25 Went to the staffroom for lunch. The cheese sandwich was nice and someone had brought some chocolate biscuits so had one of those too. Yummy. Discussed the assembly and my thoughts about being eaten by a lion was worse than going back into slavery. Some teachers agreed and some didn't but it was a lively discussion. Miss R was in a strange mood but she has been since she got pregnant and we think it might be the hormones. She tried to make out that there was a connection between the lack of a goalpost in the playground and a shortage of pritt stick glue sticks. See what I mean.
1.00pm Back in class for afternoon register. Watched the TV programme "Dotty and Buzz" - it was all about forgiveness.
1.20 Took 10 children to the outdoor area to play on the scooter (we made a list so they took turns) and got them to do some writing too. Some of them did some skipping.
2.00 Came back indoors and helped the kids who had got ALL of the blocks out to put them ALL away again. Had to make them tidy the place properly because they aren't good at that.
2.20 Sat down on the carpet and played a game... you have to listen to an animal sound and then identify the animal.
2.30 Sent the kids to go out and play.
2.40 Kids came in but there was a "suspicious smell" - interrogated the usual suspects but didn't get any postive answers. Read the big book "The Three Billy Goats Gruff" whilst several children also noticing the "suspicious smell" held their noses.
3.05 Got the kids to get all their stuff and sit in the cloakroom to be collected by their parents. "Suspicious smell" overpowering in the enclosed space of the cloakroom so opened the door and got the kids to go home as soon as possible.
3.15 Finally identifed the culprit. Dad got him changed whilst I found some clean clothes for him to get changed into.
3.30 Tidied the maths shelves - bit of a mess today. Discussed a few things with Miss T, the other reception teacher. We are going to invite some people to come and talk to the children - people that help us such as a fire fighter, policewoman, lollypop lady etc.
4.10 Miss T had to go because it was her Spanish class so I decided to go home too.
4.30 Arrived home and had a bagel. Yum. Came online to read my emails and train my frogs and see if Nat had written her blog which she hadn't. Then Nat sent me some vomit (nice of her) so I enquired about the blog and she told me all about her day and her impending driving lesson.

Stages of Confusion

2007-05-20T21:28:00.000+01:00

1. You have this strange feeling that things aren't really right but you carry on anyway. You don't really think about it that much and you try to ignore the feeling as much as you can.

2. You wake up in the morning feeling a bit confused but you just tell yourself it's because it's too early to think. You have a cup of tea and a slice of toast and for the rest of the day things are mostly ok. Maybe at lunchtime you feel like writing a poem.

3. You think about writing poems a lot. You begin looking forward to lunch times because you know that you are going to be quite creative. You write a blog and want lots of people to read what it says but not many people seem to find it.

4. You spend quite a lot of time doing your blog and try to explain the confusion that is getting gradually worse. You try to explain how you feel in your blog but you have a strange feeling that no-one is really reading it anyway. Still you persist and hope that one day someone will come along that will really appreciate what you say and be enticed by your offers of pick n mix and consequently leave you comments. This makes you a bit more confused though because you didn't really think anyone would comment but you are happy about it.

5. You don't really know where you are or where you are going. You want someone to come along and explain it all to you but no-one seems to have any answers. You spend a lot of time thinking about things and the same thoughts keep going around in your head.

6. You just want someone to be close to... to tell all your secrets... to try and make sense of the confusion that you are feeling. You hug people that you think might do this in the hope that they will understand that that is what you want.

To be continued...